Buffet announces his successor

The legendary investor Warren Buffet, it appears, has finally found his successor. The ageing investor, also known as the “Oracle of Omaha”, has decided that it was best that an Indian should take on the mantle.

“Due to the recent media reports and somewhat irresponsible individuals, the performance of our next Chairman is now out in the open. So, before any of you start making speculations, we want to formally announce and come clean on the name” he said.

All you Ajit Jain / Tony Nicely lobbyists, you can eat crow.

It’s our own Jijaji-next-door Robert Kedavra !! Mr. Kedavra shot to fame when from being a humble brass goods trader from a sleepy North Indian town, he succeeded in wooing the hand of the princess of the Grand-Ole-Party. Like a princess kissing the toad, Kedavra's fortunes skyrocketed since then, and now not only has bagfuls of crores of rupees, he also is amongst the highest of the high VVIPs of the country. All this, without holding a single govt. or public office, nor having networth / businesses of the likes of Ambanis & Tatas.

At a press meet, Mr. Buffet told media persons that the choice becomes clear with how Mr. Kedavra managed to grow a company to Rs. 500 crores (USD 96 Mn) from a paltry Rs. 50 Lakhs (USD 96,000) only of invested capital.

“You call me a great investment guru, well here is a Super investor who has posted a CAGR of twice my age”, quipped Mr. Buffet. Amidst applause he also stated that Mr. Kedavra will take over the reins, as soon he is allowed by the Police and the ED to travel abroad.

Talking on phone, Mr. Namish Tewari, head of Foot-in-mouth affairs affirmed that there were no issues against Mr. Kedavra’s leaving India and he can take over Berkshire soon. Talking at length  and curiously relieved, he also commented on the oft-repeated gripe of  India losing her bright talent to developed nations, also known as brain drain.

“It’s a proud moment for India, Mera Bharat Mahan !!! HA HA HA...crash...ouch....” he said before, signing off for celebrations. However, but we couldn’t hear his response in full as loud laughter (obviously a part of merriment and celeberations) drowned his voice.

Genius, like gold dust, does rub off on people close to you as well. A close associate of Mr. Kedavra, working in an obscure PSU bank, has been catapulted to international fame when recently Mr. Bernanke, the US Federal head, and his sidekick were in India to hold a secret meeting with him. 

Unconfirmed sources reveal that the duo wanted to learn and apply how to circumvent prudent (read archaic) banking practices so that talented entrepreneurs & their ventures can be funded by depositor’s money thereby stimulating flow of credit to in the US economy.

India, indeed is shining and how.